Okay so I know I already did one post where I kind of talked about being here for one year so far, but after being here, being introduced to the new trainees that just arrived, I have discovered more of what I have learned since arriving. And maybe my realizations aren’t so much what I have learned but instead what I find I appreciate since being here. I may get a little cheesy in this post so, I’m apologizing in advanced for that, but hey it’s the truth, right? That being said, out of all the things I learned I have come to appreciate more than anything, my patience and my friends.
Before I came here, I was antsy, anxious, constantly anal about every last thing, overly concerned about the details, and just so worked up always about everything being just right. I’m pretty sure I had to abandon every sense pulling me toward those characteristics my first five minutes in country. That isn’t to say that I did struggled to keep those engrained instincts (thanks mom for those), but after a year here, and thinking back on how I was, developing patience is a something I will never take for granted. Here, much unlike America, things move slower than molasses in January. Generally, I think I’m doing pretty good if I don’t have to wait an hour for my taxi to fill and go. One day it took me 3 hours to get 20km, and it didn’t even faze me. It can’t faze you here, because there is absolutely no point in getting worked up. If you get worked up you get frustrated and angry and it feels like your mind might explode because of how utterly inefficient everything here works. But, the thing is, the system is not changing anytime soon and I am not going to be the one to change it, I’m going to be the one that has to learn to deal with it. And have learned to deal with it. Just the other day me and my friend had an hour to wait before getting lunch so we just sat near the restaurant and waited, we didn’t try to do anything, we just waited, and didn’t even realize that was a little out of the American character until someone brought it up, another American, that was like, you are not going to do anything, you are just going to wait? And in my head I just thought, “An hour isn’t that long to wait.” Because it truly isn’t here.
One thing that has definitely helped in my development of patience is the realization that, and this isn’t a rule to always go by, but does lend some comfort and it is true that often times in Africa, if you give it a little time, everything seems to work itself out. I don’t know if this is the overarching persona that identifies itself as Africa that lends this help or if it is me learning how to be flexible and just deal with things. I’m not really too sure, but every time I get stressed about something I give it a day or two, and it’s like magic, taken care of, no problem. I also really think this ties into patience and not having to have that instant fix that people need and rely on in America. It is true though how it works out, it even kind of creeps me out sometimes how it works or maybe someone up there just likes me and decided to send some good karma my way, I don’t know. But nonetheless I hope this is a tactic I can bring back to the states with me. It, more than anything, pulls you through the really wearisome situations to a brighter side, maybe it has even become a crutch for me. However, the results it has brought me as well as the comfort, has gotten me through some of my struggles and in the end has become a lifesaver for my sanity.
This next subject, I have known of before coming, however being here has brought me to a greater appreciation of friendships and how important they are in keeping sanity. It is amazing how instantly here a group of people become your immediate family. We all were thrown into the same situation, leaving any hint of a support system at home to grasp and cling to the friendships made here. Everyone is going through the same thing and you can just relate to so much on so many different levels, which makes all these constant up’s and down’s bearable. There is a, I think, Turkish proverb that says something along the lines of “shared sorrow is half sorrow and shared joy is double joy.” This is so true and friendships help to guide and support you so much in these circumstances that they have become an invaluable and unforgettable part of my service here. I find myself projecting on what I will be doing a year from now and find myself practically experiencing anxiety when I realize that I won’t be in such constant contact with my friends here. Friendships here, for me at least, are critical for keeping sanity and every day I find myself grateful for their presence, even if they are not with me, the knowledge that they are behind me and supporting me provides motivation. This also goes for friends at home. Knowing I have support from those I rarely communicate with is a comfort and to know I can come home and no matter how zany Peace Corps has made me they are still willing to be my friends is highly appreciated. I have my house plastered with photos of friends from home, so I am reminded of their presence and their support. So whether or not you know it, if your face is on my wall, I’m assuming you are behind me in this, so thanks. Wait is that creepy to say? Well that’s one thing I’ve lost, social cues and an inner monologue.
So I guess what I am really saying after all that blabbering is that this past year has changed me at the core. I would be ashamed to say it hasn’t, that is one of the things I came here for, is to be affected by this experience so that I can have a better understanding of what it is I am supposed to be doing with my life. I would be gravely disappointed to say that this experience with all its up’s and down’s, tragedies and successes has not changed me. I approached this situation allowing myself to be affected by it and I have been in the one year I have been here. I will never look at the world the same, and this I am so thankful for.
Have a fantastic week, I know I’ll keep truckin’ (if you didn’t know I was from po-dunk U.S.A. you do now…). So take care and enjoy the summer!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment