YEBO!

“Yebo” is my new mantra, I guess, I hate even admitting I have a mantra, because it sounds so corny and cliché and gives me flashbacks to Saturday Night Live and Stuart Smalley. Come on, you know it “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me.” Well I must give myself some credit that “yebo” is exceedingly cooler than that mantra, but any coolness granted to myself is quickly taken away by the fact that I have adopted a mantra. Anyways, “yebo” doesn’t just me plain old yes, it means YES! With emphasis. And it’s not even about what it means, it is just really fun to say. So why do I need something fun to say? Well, to be quite frank, the one year rut has run right over into the second year and here we are, in July, over one year since I have been here and I am stuck in a rut deeper than the Grand Canyon. YEBO!
I know I have been going on about this for some time, but really it is all consuming sometimes, if I put the thought and energy into my work as I do in obsessing about my rut, I could have probably fixed this country’s problems. Well, not really, but I mean I spend way too much time mulling over this. So I have been approaching new ways to pull myself out of this. I have been trying to relax, which is something completely foreign to me, I have tried listening to new music, favorite music, the happiest Broadway I can summon on my iTunes and nothing. I have exercised when I was feeling down, I have eaten when I was feeling down (only to feel worse with a stomach ache and a bloated stomach the next day), I have even done the work I loathe with a smile and then refused to do it the next day. I have spent days away from site to try to clear my head, finding that being away clouds it more than when I stay. I have tried new recipes, I have started a new book, I have worked on my knitting until the tips of my fingers are sore, I have stayed up late doing work, I have gone to bed early to try and forget the day. I have even done my two favorite things, singing and dancing and still nothing. ARGGGGGHHHHHHHH, and here I am still in my rut.
So, the other day I had an unexpected experience, which I think may be the beginning of the end of my rut, hence “yebo.” I finally have begun to dig through all the books for the library. I get so frustrated with how the clinic uses me, that one day I was fed up and just went to the school one morning and began to take inventory of all the books we now have. In order to begin any library you have to take an accession log of all your books, where you write a number in each book and in a ledger write the title of the book that corresponds with each book, which allows you to re-check your inventory for missing books and account for duplicate books. So as I was sitting in my student desk rifling through easy chapter books, I’m remembering how I read so many of these books and I am getting excited at about how these kids are now going to get to read them and then I came upon a few from The Boxcar Children series. As I see these I am thinking to myself “Gosh, I’m pretty sure this is all I read in like second and third grade,” only to open the book and see, in a messy and obvious beginner print “This book belongs to Elizabeth Schmale.” At this point I am thinking, so sister Liz read this book and my eyes clouded with tears. Why I don’t know, I guess it was that all too familiar pang of homesickness that likes to creep up on me at its own will with the knowledge that a long while ago Liz read this book and not so long ago my mom or one of my other sisters handled this book. I guess it was that connection that spanned an ocean with just a book that did it. So I continue, knowing what I am looking for and, sure enough three more Boxcar Children books in and I see it. I open a book to find my older sister’s name crossed out and my name (I was even so bold as a youngster) scrawled out in my second grade penmanship underneath it. I guess the sad thing about it all is that in second grade my handwriting was phenomenally better than what it is now. And I don’t know what it was about just seeing this, and not just my name or my sister’s name, but seeing all the familiar names written in donated books, but it just made me realize what I came to do here in the first place and set my motivation back on course. Seeing the names kind of brought it back into light all the people that are invested in the project. And as a result I found myself beginning the climb out of my rut. That connection to back home, the fact that so many people back home in St. Libory now know about Lesotho and without skipping a beat began to care by donating books. With that having been done back home I just can’t wait until I get some little girl to read Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret. or get one of the boys to read Harry Potter and to get them exposed to these books, so again I can make a connection between them and home. To have these kids exposed to a world beyond the one they know will just cause them to flip. They will see role models outside of the hip-hop world, which will be a first for many, which is a good thing because they love R. Kelly. They will hear about places outside of Africa, which this again a great thing because many of them don’t even know South America exists. They will learn about different cultures outside of Basotho, Xhosa, and Zulu. And, the best thing yet, they will be exposed to creativity, how to develop it and different ways to express it, which I know I am always so grateful that my education allowed for this. Heck as a result of all this, I may even play a game with them and whoever finds the book with my American name written in it will get a prize. It will be a challenge, I mean over 1,500 books and they only know me as M’e Nthabi. Good luck, kiddos.
So with that being said, I feel pretty confident I will get out of my rut (YEBO! Just yell it I promise it will make you feel better!), with the help my second grade self, all of those who donated to my library, and, well I didn’t mention this yet, but my vacation to Mozambique should be pretty helpful in lifting my spirits as well. Now if only the weather here would warm up already, but I guess I should be patient right? Take care all, and those of you in the northern hemisphere, if I hear one more complaint about the warm weather, I have half a mind to go home and give you something to complain about. Salang Hantle!